Will You Abandon Me?

by ·   August 3, 2015   ·

Strange depression is everywhere; disconsolate surrounding is submersed in quietness; unlimited darkness seems to swallow the last light of possibility; the slave clock hanging on the old stained wall is ticking its existence faithfully. Time is passing to endless emptiness. And the reality is trapped in the erratic web, the reality of day-today life.

The church bell just rung fading the light of dusk; birds are returning back to their nests, the labourers of mill are returning to their homes by the mountainous path, their salty sweated bodies are burdened; their eyes are filled with depressed dreams.

Yet, with this pleasure of returning home at the end of the day, moulding creepy smell in the body; the pale outcry for living in coming rusty hazy future in the dozy intoxicated eyes.

That outcry sounds like music.

Is it really music? Or lamentations! Lamentations for loosing own, lamentations for gradual but confirmed decaying every day.

Any way; yet music continues; tunes come out for the bottom of heart.

“Do not leave me

O my hilly beloved;

I will keep you in my heart

With great care and affection!

And thus the melancholy tunes echo every day in heart, and I ask the question to myself –

Will you abandon me?

Quiet!

Will you abandon me?

Silence!

Will you abandon me?

There is no answer; the unspoken questions do not echo on the stained wall, they stuck as crying memories on the invisible wall of heart; colourless, odourless, only silent emptiness.

The question is very easy, the answer is also known.

Ok, let’s talk about the answer later; just think first, try to remember – how many ways do we use this sentence.

Actually, we ask this question to our near and dear ones “Will you abandon me?”

And all the time the answer is “No”. Actually in all languages of the world this truth is being hidden, we don’t admit the truth.

But what is the truth? The truth is much ruthless. Our dear and near ones, who promised us, gradually move away; the near ones become strangers.

And if the question is asked to own; to own soul; the answer may be known; but it is hard to accept. One day the soul will fly away leaving this body cage; as a result living with invisible fear throughout the life. My single mind, fly far away in the sky whenever wants. Where do you fly leaving your own wings, own cage, all affections? I feel of a sort without you.

Yes, this is the truth; everybody leaves this world before or after. With whom is the confrontation about this question then?

“Will you abandon me?”

All right, if the question is to Almighty God – what will be the answer?

The answer is very clear, He never abandons us, and He never leaves us.

But how long are we with Him? How many times do we submit ourselves to Him? How many times do we think about Him? It needs much caring to get fruit from a plant; same as, a healthy relationship depends on mutual compromise. If there is no caring, no compromise, the colour of relationship become hazy, the plant could die, the near ones could move far away. And when a follower commits sins, wrap him with the sheet of wickedness; the gap between them becomes wide, but He never turns His face away, rather waits for His followers, when they will be humble in prayer to Him.

The known areas seem unknown, unstable time wants to swallow all enthusiasm, the colour of living becomes hazy, the setting sun seems to steal the last light of life every day. Can’t return to you O Lord! Though you don’t abandon me or leave me, I can’t turn back to you.

The clock rings loudly again, reminds its existence; I come back to consciousness and suddenly feel, I have been trying to get back to you for a long time, but couldn’t open the door of dime conscience, yet you didn’t abandon me, you didn’t leave me.

Follow me
Latest posts by Rudra Polash (see all)

You may also like...

Listen